On principle, I dislike human interest stories when they’re stuffed into the nightly news. In reality, my sister and I are sitting in the family room pleading, ‘Don’t change it! Don’t change it! I want to see the elephant and the dog!’
I present: the elephant and the dog.
Happy new year, chocolateers! It’s time for resolutions, for example, only eating chocolates containing 70% cocoa or more. But since milk chocolate will sometimes sneak up on you via truffle filling or candy dish, I had to find something a little more do-able.
Resolution #1: Improve my bottle opening technique. When finagling the cork out of a wine bottle in order to make mulled wine, I accidentally cracked the lip of the bottle. A milk tooth of glass chipped off. I suppose that this could be fixed by buying a Corkscrew-for-Dummies, except that I also got very confused at around ten seconds to midnight about how exactly to open the bottle of champagne, even though the directions were printed clearly on the side. S took over popping duties because I looked so nervous. He did an excellent job (nothing broke, a little plume of smoke whispered out, and then champagne was poured for all), then later went up on the roof with a bunch of people to really pop a cork over Philadelphia.
Next year, I hope to pull out this fancy trick to redeem my flustered midnight self:
When my sister and I watched ‘Wall-E’, we nearly died of laughter before the movie even began. I think we created a scene. Arms and legs flailed. Here’s why:
As a tenderhearted eleven year old, it took me years to recover from watching half of The Princess Bride, thanks to the ROUS (Rodents of Unusual Size). However, I’ve come to realize that the problem was not that the rodents were unusually sized, it was that the rodents were toothy, vicious, shoulder-gnawing rats. If the rodents were, say, hamsters, or bunnies, the situation would be much different.
Introducing Germany’s enormous bunnies:
Matched in awesomeness only by Germany’s tiny cows:
And, since the tenderhearted and squeamish eleven year old turned into an only marginally less tenderhearted and squeamish twenty-six year old, here is not a clip of ROUS from The Princess Bride:
